my dear friend, sarah (my little sister in the sorority, and the one i so lovingly to this day call "sister") sent me a sweet card after my miscarriage and reminded me of a song we used to listen to on our many roadtrips and drives around athens. we spent many hours over the course of college bopping around town in her silver 4 runner, listening to this cd while we drank starbucks, ate tcby, and parked illegally (i've talked about college in 25% of my blog so far. i promise i'm not stuck.). it's a watermark song, and i can't remember the name of the cd it's on, but it's green with a star or something on it. anyway, this song obviously meant nothing to me at the time, except i liked the melody, but she quoted a line from it in her note, and i dug it up to let brett listen to on our 12 hour trip to and from st simons last thursday. if you've got a second, try to find it online so you can hear it. i couldn't find a link to it to post, but it's a sweet song if you've ever lost a baby, or know someone who has. here are some of the words:
"glory baby, you slipped away as fast as we could say baby, baby. you were growing. what happened dear? you disappeared on us, baby. heaven will hold you before we do. heaven will keep you safe until we're home with you. but we'll miss you every day, miss you in every way, but we know there's a day when we will hold you. and you'll kiss our tears away when we're home to stay. can't wait for the day when we will see you. but, baby, let sweet jesus hold you 'til mom and dad can hold you. you'll just have heaven before we do. sweet little babies, it's hard to understand it 'cause we're hurting. but there is healing, and i know we're stronger people through the growing and in knowing all things work together for our good, and god works his purposes just like he said he would. i can't imagine heaven's lullabies and what they must sound like. i will rest in knowing heaven is your home and it's all you'll ever know."
being really busy with k and b, i don't think a whole lot about the child we lost. i don't know if that's a good or bad thing, but i haven't really dwelled there. i like the emotion this song brings out in me, and the comfort it gives me in being reminded that heaven is the only place our baby will ever know. it's easy to just let the miscarriage be an "event" in my life, but hearing the words "let sweet jesus hold you 'til mom and dad can hold you" reminds me that we have a little baby that we'll never hold on this earth. it definitely makes me long for heaven even more. can't wait to meet you, little one.